Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008: The Year That Was


As I sit here taking in the last few hours of 2008, I can't help but think that this will be one of those years I always remember. And it won't be just because our country's political landscape was forever changed as Barack Obama was elected President, nor will it be because I turned the magic 2-1 and took my place in the land of legality.

2008 will be a year that I'll always remember because of the personal milestones that it contained. I really don't even know where to begin to give an adequate description of how much I grew and evolved. But this past year, I became a man. In late 2007, I began my transformation physically. I shed some pounds, muscled up, completely adjusted my eating habits, and grew out the locks. I was happy with the new body, and the transformation turned inward. I knew that in order to become the man I wanted to be, I would have to be healthy not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. I wanted to live my best life.

Before this year, I knew the person that I wanted to become, but I had no idea how to get there. As mentioned in my first blog post, I had to tear down so much of what was in my life that shouldn't be there (attitudes, insecurities, and ways of dealing) so that I could see what was most important: myself. I had ignored my own voice for so long that I didn't even hear it anymore. My motor ran based on what my environment fed to it. My life essentially revolved around the people in it and what was happening to me. I was living a reactionary life. I was also waging an internal battle that had been there for so long, I had become accustomed to it. It was a battle in my head...a battle that made me feel insecure, unworthy of love, and confused.


I realized this battle was a result of invalidation. Up until this year, I have never been able to authentically validate myself. Why you ask? Without going into too much detail (now that's a blog post within itself), I grew up feeling as if I could only present the part of myself that was acceptable. I always knew that I was different, but I felt that if I were to present the part of me that felt "different" then I would be rejected and cast down. So, I hid behind a big smile and an outgoing personality in order to compensate for the invalidation. It was my way of dealing with pain. The worst part of it, though, was that I began to lose myself in the process, because I became what I thought everyone else wanted me to be.

But in 2008, I tore down the fronts, the walls, and faced my insecurities for the first time in my life. Through countless hours of tears, introspection, soul searching, and frustration, I began to see something for the first time in my life. I am worthy of love. There is nothing about myself that I should have to hide because of the fear of rejection. I started listening to myself. I liked what I saw when I walked past the mirror. I also felt something for the first time in my life: confidence. Even more importantly, I now feel hope that I can overcome this internal battle that I've struggled with all my life. Yes, for the first time in my life...I love who I am!

I can't help but feel excitement when I think about the upcoming year. I'll be graduating and making a pretty big move as I set out to define my destiny. I also am excited because the relationships that were formed and strengthened in 2008 will carry into tomorrow. Noah may have his ARC, but I have my TJAGDCKM :) My life would be incomplete without the people who occupy my heart. The friends that were made (and the one that was taken to a new level, Mr. Arnett) have profoundly impacted my life, and it feels so good to have these guys supporting me on my journey.

And most importantly, I am in love :) When you really love somebody, there is nothing in this world that you can't face. It makes you feel on top of the world...like all you gotta do to fly is spread your wings. Love is the most important thing in my life. You are the most important thing in my life, and my 2008 would never have been what it was if you weren't there beside me.

As 2008 closes, I will be with the people that I love. Although the key ingredient won't be there tonight, I cannot wait to see what 2009 has to bring. And I couldn't think of a better way to end this momentous year than smiling at what it was. I can't wait to build on what I finally found!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Music Minute: Leaving it All Behind


This is perhaps the BEST music that you haven't heard...or at least I've never heard of these guys. The Foreign Exchange, a hip-hop duo consisting of rapper Phonte Coleman and producer Nicolay, released Leave it All Behind in October, and what they did was leave behind all the watered down, banal r&b/hip hop artists in the process. I ran across this album on soulbounce.com, as they named this album as their Album of the Year.

I fell in love with the first listen. They are a little reminiscent of Erykah Badu in the way that they combine so many musical elements-funk, jazz, soul, r&b, alternative, hip hop, euro-into an amazingly smooth and cohesive sound. Their music is somewhat difficult to classify, but that's probably due to the fact this album defines what real, substance-filled r&b really is. None of that lust driven, "love in this club" shallow lyrics. This about has love at its core: one listen and you'll get a glimpse of what a real, adult relationship is about. This is definitely one of those albums that you pop in and just let play. They take risks; although there's a song or two that may borderline on boring, it's only because the music is so easy on the ear. The Foreign Exchange is "an earful of goodness," and you'll be glad if you check this dynamic duo out. It received 83 of 100 on metacritic.com and 4.5 stars by iTunes listeners. Most importantly (wink-wink), this album is Architectually Approved, and it will be the newest addition to my music box.

Check out this video for the lead single from the album, Daykeeper. Although it's not my favorite track from the album, it's a very sweet, mellow love song that takes you in through the purity and delicacy of their voices. The song features Muhsinah. Even better, the video takes it to another level. I love the use of lighting and colors: the lighting almost serves as the narrator, making the lyrics come to life.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Blueprint

"You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script."
Oprah Winfrey

This simple yet powerful life principle, one of Oprah's 20 Things I Know for Sure, has become the central focus to my blueprint for an authentic, balanced life. When we free ourselves from the expectations and limits that others place on our individualism, we discover the peace and self confidence that comes from being our unique selves. I am learning that there is no magic "secret" or special formula in finding my place in this world. A very wise person once told me that the secret is that there is no secret!


I've been following several friend's blogs for the past few months. Now that I've finally devoted the time to making it happen, I've decided to join the blogosphere. The title, Southern Reconstruction, has many meanings but I chose it mainly because it represents the stage my life currently occupies. On this path to authentic living, my life has been a complete constuction zone. Tearing down the excess and decay that doesn't belong, and slowly replacing it with sustainable building blocks that will withstand what this life has in store. I've had many amazing consultants and carpenters that have been there throughout this process and will continue to contribute to my life's projects, but there can only be one architect.


Through this blog, I hope to share some of the tools, building materials, and aesthetics that help to complete my "blueprint." You'll see books, people, music, movies, art, cities, movements, and thoughts that are of significance to me. Blogging seems to be a new form of art. I hope that I create a piece that is the most authentic version of myself that I can. Nonetheless, it's all a part of my blueprint...and you are now entering my construction site.